Here in the UK and even more so in Sweden, where I grew up, you might as well say that you kick your dog, or that you are a fascist… Being against abortion is considered to be both very odd and very extreme. It’s taken for granted that the average person is completely comfortable with abortions.
A Parallel Between Alcohol and Abortion
What I am about to write would probably cause me to loose several of my best friends if they read it. (I am not sure, but I think so at any rate..).

Here it Goes:

I am against abortions! I think they should be illegal and strongly discouraged in a similar fashion to society’s approach to drugs. The mother’s life comes before that of the baby of course! No question about that to me. But sloppiness with contraception, ‘bad timing’ of the pregnancy, absence of a father etc should not be reasons for abortion.

(I think people would probably be a lot more careful with contraception if they knew that abortion was not an option. It is amazing how many women I know who claim to have fallen into the 3% category of pregnancies that occur despite proper usage of contraception… Interestingly it is a good 50% of all my closest friends. I love them to bits, but I don’t believe they are that statistically unusual.)

Or, an even simpler approach to avoid unwanted pregnancies; Don’t sleep around! (Religious justification or not, personally I have always thought too highly of myself to behave in a way that could be categorized as slutty! have always had the opinion that my body is my ‘temple’ and that I most certainly am not going to let some random guy worship there! I don’t understand why other women don’t feel the same about themselves… Plus, an act that can lead to new life should not be treated as any other everyday act!)

Well, either the stats are wrong, or my friends are not as careful as they think they are! (Also, I also can’t help but to think that the baby must be quite a little fighter if it indeed manages to be created despite proper use of contraception! Surely a special baby! )
Picture of a Home for Mothers in the US.

No Solutions?

Why not offer the pregnant woman a no-cost place in a great facility for un-wed mothers if she is single? The 1960s image of such places is outdated. Really, it could be turned into a very positive experience. If she doesn’t already have a job that she likes, then, while she is pregnant, help her with vocational training or academic studies and generally treat her like a princess… (None of that ‘making her feel guilty’ that they tried back in the days…)

I’d be the first to volounteer my time to teach IT skills at such a place! How bad could it possibly be to stay at a nice facility for a few months while getting free food, training and advice? Surely no worse than the knowledge that you had an abortion! The government and religious organizations could sponsor the facilities. The governments in Europe are always on about the fact that there are too few babies being born… Or, who knows, maybe some company would be interested in sponsoring too?
Treat her like a princess, provide training and advice!
Offer her the option to keep the baby or put it up for adoption depending on what she feels most comfortable with. Don’t push her into any decision. Continue supporting her after the birth of the baby, making sure that the baby is well looked after and that the mother is able to support her family and find adequate childcare if necessary.

The Unthinkable Situation…

At this point most women would immediately say “Well, what if she was raped? Surely then you would agree that she should get an abortion, no questions asked…?”

To start with, pregnancy as a result of a rape is really not that common. It happens a lot more in fiction/drama than in real life. The rape would only have a 10% chance of occurring at a time when the woman was fertile in the first place. Even during that small window, there is only a 1/3 chance of getting pregnant, if I remember things correctly. Plus, a a large proportion of women take the pill anyway, or use some other form of protection. So for a date-rape or some kind of violent attack, a pregnancy is pretty unlikely to be the outcome. (I suppose it would eventually happen in those nasty ongoing abuse/incest situations that you sometimes read about though.)

In addition, there are plenty of things that a woman can do to significantly reduce her risk of becoming the victim of rape. Probably a very un-PC statement, but it really helps if you are NOT out and about late at night, drunk and dressed in a miniskirt and a super-tight top…

(Every Saturday, if I am home, I see hundreds of women doing exactly that more or less outside my house. For any man with the slightest tendency in that direction, it must be a real sight. I often see young women in a really bad way collapsed at the benches down by the river.)

Also, not bringing strangers home, or going to their place the first time you meet them is a sensible pre-caution. Or seriously leading a sex-deprived guy on with physical contact and then pull back… (I accidentally did that once as a teenager. Luckily the guy snapped out of it in the last minute and I learnt the lesson for the future.)

However, if someone nevertheless had maximum bad luck and found herself pregnant as a result of rape, wouldn’t most people want to keep the child and let good prevail over evil? Otherwise the rape would lead to further bad actions in the form of abortion!
I don’t agree with them anymore…
There are often stories in women’s magazines about women who kept a child that was conceived as a result of a rape. All such stories end with the woman saying she is so happy about her decision, and that the baby helped her get over the rape. I read such a story the other day. The child in the story was adorable, She was mixed race, as the rapist had been black. I imagine it must be awful for the mother to answer question about her daughter’s father though. Having the baby and giving it up must be awful though, but still better than an abortion in my opinion.

In the ‘90s there was a case that got a lot of publicity. It was to do with a 14-year old girl in Ireland. She had become pregnant as a result of a being raped, and wanted to go to the UK to have an abortion (abortions are not legal in Ireland..). Her intentions became known to the Irish police and she was told that she wasn’t allowed to leave the country.

At the time that this happened, I really felt for the girl, and was appalled that the Irish wouldn’t let her go. Now I am not so sure anymore. The problem ‘solved itself’ in a rather sad way; the girl had a miscarriage.

Conclusion

To finish, I’d like to say that I don’t judge women who had an abortion. Anybody can have back luck or make a mistake. In Northern Europe we are brought up to believe that terminating unwanted pregancies is perfectly normal and acceptable. The view that there could be something wrong with this approach is presented as backwards, anti-feminist and generally negative.

From my own perspective, getting pregnant right now (not that there is any risk of that… ) would be terribly inconvenient. It is certainly not compatible with the kind of job that I do. Being a single mother sounds really tough. But I’d do it nevertheless! I know I’ve been brought up with the belief that any badly timed pregnancies should be terminated. But I just couldn’t do it.

I just wish that people would question the existing view on abortion. It was considered immoral for thousands of years. Things have really only been different for the last thirty years or so. Every major religion condemns it. Are we really so much wiser than all generations before us?

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